On November 28, 2025, the Himeji branch of the Kobe District Court handed down a prison sentence of 2 years and 8 months to a mother who left her 8-year-old daughter—who had severe respiratory problems and required regular suctioning of mucus—alone overnight. The girl died from suffocation.
During the trial, medical professionals testified that suctioning was essential even when the child was sleeping or resting and that neglecting it could immediately endanger her life. The court found that the mother had intended to stay out until the next morning, and therefore ruled that she had “willfully abandoned her duty of care.”
Yet while delivering the verdict, the presiding judge also told the defendant, “Don’t try to carry everything alone. Please seek help.”
But what does “ask for help” even mean in reality, especially for a single mother caring for a medically fragile child around the clock?
And is “seeking help” even possible in the first place?
Below, I explore why such advice—although well-intentioned—often fails the very mothers who need support the most.
- The Incident and the Verdict — A Full Picture
- When the System Exists on Paper, but Not in Reality
- 2) Economic barriers — “Paid support” isn’t support for everyone
- 3) Private networks rarely sustain long-term or intensive help
- 4) Sleep deprivation destroys judgment, stamina, and emotional regulation
- The Larger Question: Why Was the Mother Alone in the First Place?
- What needs to change — from an on-the-ground perspective
- 1. Expand immediately usable, nearby short-term childcare slots
- 2. Reduce the physical burden of accessing services
- 3. Lower or subsidize fees so low-income families can actually use services
- 4. Strengthen non-family third-party support systems
- 5. Recognize sleep as a critical safety issue, not a luxury
- **Mothers are not “reluctant to seek help.”
- References
The Incident and the Verdict — A Full Picture
■ The facts of the case
- In January 2023, the mother left home while her daughter—who was physically unable to clear her own airway—was sleeping.
- The child required regular suctioning of mucus to survive.
- She suffocated during the night and died before the mother returned the next morning.
- The court ruled this as “Causing death by abandoning one’s duty as a caregiver.”
■ The judge’s message
While acknowledging the mother’s overwhelming burden—she was a single parent who had been providing medical-level care alone for eight years—the judge urged her to “seek help instead of trying to do everything by yourself.”
The problem is not the empathy behind the words.
The problem is that “seeking help” presupposes that actual help exists and is realistically accessible.
In many cases, it simply isn’t.
When the System Exists on Paper, but Not in Reality
Japan has been introducing more flexible childcare services, such as:
- temporary daycare programs,
- respite care,
- short-term child welfare support,
- and the new “Kodomo Dare Demo Tsūen Seido” (“Childcare for Any Child” system), which allows non-enrolled children to use nursery schools on a part-time basis.
In theory, these programs are supposed to prevent parental burnout.
In practice, availability is the biggest barrier.
### 1) “Available” services often have no availability
Even when a system is established, that does not guarantee that a mother can actually use it.
My own experience illustrates this clearly.
I wanted to use the “Childcare for Any Child” program so I could attend medical appointments while on maternity leave.
However:
- none of the nearby nurseries had openings,
- the only available facility was several train stations away,
- traveling with a baby just to secure a few hours of childcare was physically unrealistic.
The system existed—but was not accessible.
And a system that cannot be used when needed is functionally meaningless.
2) Economic barriers — “Paid support” isn’t support for everyone
Many short-term childcare programs or postpartum care services require fees, sometimes significant ones.
Families already under financial strain simply cannot rely on paid services regularly.
This creates a structural inequality where only mothers who can afford help can access it.
3) Private networks rarely sustain long-term or intensive help
People often say, “Then ask your family or friends.”
But this assumes a support network that:
- is nearby,
- is reliable,
- is emotionally safe,
- and is willing to help repeatedly.
For many mothers, this is not the case:
- relatives may be far away,
- relationships may be strained or unsafe,
- friends may help once or twice, but disappear when long-term commitment is needed,
- people offer emotional encouragement but no practical help.
In reality, a mother can ask for help and still receive none.
4) Sleep deprivation destroys judgment, stamina, and emotional regulation
Caring for a medically fragile child—especially alone—means chronic sleep loss.
Sleep deprivation is not merely “tiredness.”
It affects:
- decision-making,
- crisis recognition,
- mental stability,
- physical reaction time,
- and overall functioning.
Telling a sleep-deprived, resource-less mother to “reach out” is like telling a drowning person to “swim harder.”
What she needs is another set of hands, not abstract encouragement.
The Larger Question: Why Was the Mother Alone in the First Place?
The court determined her legal responsibility, and that is the role of the judicial system.
But society must ask another question:
Why was life-sustaining medical care entrusted to a single, exhausted parent with no backup at all?
Why were eight years of round-the-clock caregiving borne solely by one woman?
Responsibility can coexist with structural failure.
This tragedy is not simply an individual’s mistake.
It is the predictable outcome of a system that assumes mothers can do the impossible indefinitely.
What needs to change — from an on-the-ground perspective
To prevent future tragedies, we need practical, not symbolic, support.
1. Expand immediately usable, nearby short-term childcare slots
A program with zero available openings does not protect children or support parents.
2. Reduce the physical burden of accessing services
No one should have to ride multiple train stops just to use basic childcare.
3. Lower or subsidize fees so low-income families can actually use services
Support should not depend on personal wealth.
4. Strengthen non-family third-party support systems
This includes trained caregivers, visiting nurses, and respite workers who can provide regular, dependable assistance.
5. Recognize sleep as a critical safety issue, not a luxury
Night-time support is essential—not optional—for medically complex caregiving.
**Mothers are not “reluctant to seek help.”
They are being placed in environments where help does not exist, or cannot be accessed.**
The narrative must shift from：
“You should reach out.”
to
“We must build a society where reaching out actually results in help.”
Until the gap between those two statements is closed, similar tragedies will remain possible.
References
- Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare (Japan): Postpartum Care Program Reports
- Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare: “Childcare for Any Child” System Overview
- Cabinet Office, Japan: Childcare Support Usage Survey
- Y. Sasaki (2021), The Solitary Child-Raising Society, NHK Publishing
- S. Murata (2020), Not Giving Up My Life When I Became a Mother, Kodansha
- Multiple Japanese news reports covering the 2023 incident and the 2025 verdict
#Parenting #SingleMothers #CaregivingBurden #ChildcareSystem #SocialSupport #Japan #PostpartumCare #SleepDeprivation #PublicPolicy #ChildWelfare #InvisibleLabor
