Recently, a social media post went viral in Japan:
“I was in the Green Car (first-class carriage) on the Shinkansen, and a baby kept crying the whole time.”
Many commenters sympathized with the writer, saying things like:
“I paid extra for a quiet space!”
“The silence is supposed to be part of the experience!”
But beneath this discussion lies a deeper question:
Who created these social rules, and for whom were they really made?
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🔹 The “Be Quiet” Rule Was Made for Adults Who Can Be Quiet
The idea that “you should keep quiet on the train” is a rule built for adults — adults who have full control of their emotions and behavior.
It reflects a broader social expectation in Japan:
“Good manners mean controlling yourself so you don’t disturb others.”
But when that standard is applied to babies or small children, it stops making sense.
Crying is how babies communicate. It’s a physiological, developmental behavior, not a moral failing.
To insist that parents “must stop the crying at all costs” or label them as “violating manners” is both unreasonable and, frankly, oppressive.
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🔹 A Luxury Restaurant and a Green Car Are Not the Same Thing
Some people argue:
“Luxury restaurants ban small children, so why not Green Cars too?”
However, a restaurant and a public train serve entirely different purposes.
A fine dining restaurant exists for the experience itself — quiet ambiance, sophisticated service, and curated exclusivity. It can reasonably say “no small children” because that exclusivity is part of what customers are paying for.
The Shinkansen’s Green Car, however, is a means of transportation, not a private lounge.
Its goal is to move people safely and comfortably from one city to another.
Wanting a peaceful atmosphere is understandable, but that’s a personal preference, not a universal rule.
Choosing not to ride the Green Car with your own baby is your right.
But demanding that others do the same crosses into emotional, not rational, territory.
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🔹 Who Has Been Writing the Rules of Society?
This issue reflects a broader pattern in Japan’s social structure.
For decades, men — particularly those without caregiving responsibilities — have shaped most public norms and policies.
As a result, ideas like
“Managing your health is part of your job,”
“Taking time off is a sign of weakness,”
were created in a society that didn’t consider women’s menstrual cycles, parenting duties, or chronic conditions.
In other words, these “universal” standards were never actually universal.
Just as “be silent” rules exclude babies and parents, work and social norms have excluded those whose lives don’t fit the “ideal, uninterrupted worker” model.
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🔹 Time to Redefine Manners Together
A baby’s cry is not “noise.” It’s a sign of life.
Children’s voices are not disturbances — they’re reminders that our society is alive and growing.
Instead of policing silence, we can design public spaces that include everyone — from business travelers to families, from infants to elders.
Manners shouldn’t be about exclusion.
They should be about coexistence.
It’s time to stop saying, “Only quiet people follow manners,” and start saying,
“Let’s build manners that include even those who can’t always be quiet.”
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📚 References
Asahi Shimbun Digital, “Crying Baby in the Green Car Sparks Online Debate” (Oct 2025)
Cabinet Office, White Paper on Gender Equality in Japan
Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare, Handbook on Reasonable Accommodation for People with Disabilities
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#Japan #Parenting #PublicManners #GreenCar #ChildInclusion #SocialRules #GenderEquality #ReasonableAccommodation #Coexistence #SocialCommentary #CulturalAnalysis
【Column】“A Baby Crying in the Green Car” — Rethinking the Idea of Silence and Who Our Social Manners Are Really For
Raising Children in Japan